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[Debate/Åä·Ð] (HM-028) Little bit of mother-in-law goes a long way for wife
ÃÖ°í°ü¸®ÀÚ  |  16-11-26 14:08


Çѱ¹¾î·Î µÈ ¹®Á¦¸¦ º¸¸é¼­, ¿µ¾î·Î´Â ¾î¶»°Ô Ç¥ÇöÀÌ µÇ´ÂÁö¸¦ »ý°¢ÇØ º¸¼¼¿ä.
¿ø¾î¹ÎÀÇ Ç¥Çö°ú, Çѱ¹ »ç¶÷µéÀÌ ÈçÈ÷ »ý°¢ÇÒ ¼ö Àִ ǥÇöÀÇ Â÷À̸¦ º¸¸é¼­
»ì¾Æ Àִ ǥÇö, ¶Ñ·ÇÇÑ ÀÇ»ç Àü´ÞÀÇ ±â¼úÀ» ¹è¿ì½Ã±æ ¹Ù¶ø´Ï´Ù.

[Problem]

Àú´Â Á¦ ³²Æí°ú °áÈ¥ÇÑ Áö 1³âÀÌ Á¶±Ý ³Ñ½À´Ï´Ù. ³²ÆíÀº ¾ÆÁÖ ±¦ÂúÀº ³²ÀÚÀÌÁö¸¸ ÀúÈñ ½Ã¾î¸Ó´Ï¿¡°Ô Á» Áö³ªÄ¡°Ô ¾ÖÂøÀ» º¸Àδٴ ´À³¦ÀÌ µé¾î¿ä. ½Ã¾î¸Ó´Ï´Â 20ºÐ°¡·® ¶³¾îÁ® »ì°í °è½Ã´Âµ¥ ³²ÆíÀº °ÅÀÇ ¸ÅÀÏ Ã£¾Æ ºË°í ½Í¾îÇÕ´Ï´Ù.  
I have been married to my husband a little over a year. He's a wonderful man, but I feel he's a little too attached to his mother. She lives about 20 minutes away, and he wants to go visit her almost every day.

½Ã¾î¸Ó´Ï´Â ¾ÆÁÖ ºÎÁ¤ÀûÀÎ »ç¶÷ÀÌ¿¡¿ä. ½Ã¾î¸Ó´Ï´Â ÀλöÇÏÁö ¾ÊÀ¸½Ã°í Àú¿Í Àß ¾î¿ï·Á Áö³»½ÃÁö¸¸ ±× ºÎÁ¤Àû ¼ºÇâÀÌ µµ¸¦ ³Ñ½À´Ï´Ù. ½Ã¾î¸Ó´Ï´Â »ç½Ç»ó ¾Æ¹« µ¥¼­µµ ±â»ÝÀ» ãÁö ¸øÇϼż­ Àú´Â Ç×»ó ºÒ¾ÈÇÑ ±âºÐÀÌ µé¾î¿ä. 
His mother is a very negative person. She isn't mean and we get along well, but her negativity is overwhelming. She finds joy in practically nothing and I always leave feeling agitated.

Àú´Â ³²Æí°ú ÀÌ ¹®Á¦¿¡ ´ëÇØ Àü¿¡ ´ëÈ­¸¦ ³ª´« ÀûÀÌ ÀÖÁö¸¸, ±×´Â ¡°ÀϺΠ³ëÀεéÀº ¿ø·¡ ±×·± °Å¾ß¡±¶ó°í ´ë´äÇÕ´Ï´Ù. Àú´Â ÀÏÁÖÀÏ¿¡ ¸î ¹øÀº ÂüÀ» ¼ö ÀÖ¾úÁö¸¸, ¸ÅÀÏ ÀÌ·± ÀÏÀÌ ¹Ýº¹µÇ´Â µ¥ Á¡Â÷ Â¥ÁõÀÌ ³ª°í ÀÖ¾î¿ä. ¾î¶»°Ô ÇÏ¸é ½Ã¾î¸Ó´ÏÀÇ °¨Á¤À» »óÇÏÁö ¾Ê°Ô Çϸ鼭 ³²Æí¿¡°Ô Á¦ ±âºÐÀ» ÀÌÇØÇÏ°Ô ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖÀ»±î¿ä? - Åػ罺 ÁÖ¿¡¼­ ±â»ÝÀ» »ó½ÇÇÑ µ¶ÀÚ
I have talked with my husband about this before and his response is, "That's how some old people are." I could put up with it a few times a week, but this everyday thing is wearing on me. How can I get my husband to understand how I'm feeling without hurting his mother's feelings? - NO JOY IN TEXAS

[Advice]

±â»ÝÀ» »ó½ÇÇϽŠµ¶ÀÚ´Ô²²: µ¶ÀÚ´Ô°ú ³²Æí²²¼­´Â °áÈ¥À» ÇϽŠ°ÍÀÌÁö, Ç×»ó °°ÀÌ ºÙ¾î ´Ù´Ï¶ó´Â °ÍÀº ¾Æ´Õ´Ï´Ù. ¸¸ÀÏ ³²ÆíÀÌ ¸ÅÀÏ ½Ã¾î¸Ó´Ï¸¦ º¸°í ½Í´Ù¸é, ±×°Ç ÁÁ½À´Ï´Ù. ÇÏÁö¸¸ µ¶ÀÚ´ÔÀº ÀÏÁÖÀÏ¿¡ µÎ ¹ø ³Ñ°Ô ³²Æí°ú ÇÔ²² °¡½Ã´Â Àǹ«¸¦ ºÎ´ãÇؼ­´Â ¾È µË´Ï´Ù. ¸¸¾à ³²Æí²²¼­ µ¶ÀÚ´ÔÀÌ ºüÁø µ¥ ´ëÇØ ½Ã¾î¸Ó´Ô²² ¼³¸íÀ» µå¸®¼Å¾ß ÇÒ Çʿ並 ´À³¢½Å´Ù¸é, µ¶ÀÚ´Ô²²¼­ Çؾ߸¸ ÇÏ´Â ÀÏ·Î ¹Ù»Ú´Ù°í ¸»¾¸µå·Á¾ß ÇÕ´Ï´Ù. ±×°ÍÀº ¿¹ÀÇ ¹Ù¸£°í, ±×°ÍÀº ³í¸®ÀûÀÔ´Ï´Ù. ±×¸®°í ±× ½Ã°£À» ä¿ï ½ÉºÎ¸§À̳ª ÀϰŸ®¸¦ ãÀ» ¼ö ÀÖÀ» °ÍÀ̶ó°í Àú´Â È®½ÅÇÕ´Ï´Ù.
DEAR NO JOY: You and your husband are married, not joined at the hip. If he wants to see his mother every day, that's fine. But you should not be obligated to go with him more than a couple of times a week if you don't want to. If he feels he needs to give her an explanation for your absence, he should tell her you are busy with things you need to do. It's polite, it's logical ¦¡ and I'm sure you will find errands or tasks with which to fill the time.

[¾îÈÖ & Ç¥Çö]

* attached to (somebody/something) ~¿¡ ¾ÖÂøÀ» ´À³¢´Â
(= to like someone or something very much because you have known them or had them for a long time) 
e.g.) Looks like she's kind of grown attached to me. ±×³à°¡ ³ª¸¦ ÁÁ¾ÆÇÏ´Â °Í °°¾Æ¿ä. 

* negativity (°Ý½Ä) ºÎÁ¤Àû[ºñ°üÀû] ¼ºÇâ; ¼Ò±Ø¼º
(= an attitude that considers only the bad qualities of a situation, person etc. and not the good ones)
e.g.) I loathe negativity. I can't stand people who moan. ³ª´Â ºÎÁ¤ÀûÀÎ °ÍÀ» ¸÷½Ã ½È¾îÇÑ´Ù. ºÒÆòÇÏ´Â »ç¶÷µéÀº ÂüÀ» ¼ö°¡ ¾ø´Ù. 

* practically »ç½Ç»ó, °ÅÀÇ (= almost)
e.g.) The theatre was practically empty. ±× ±ØÀåÀº »ç½Ç»ó ÅÖ ºñ¾î ÀÖ¾ú´Ù.

* agitated ºÒ¾ÈÇØÇÏ´Â, µ¿¿äµÈ (= so nervous or upset that you are unable to keep still or think calmly)
e.g.) Calm down! Don't get so agitated. ÁøÁ¤ÇØ! ±×·¸°Ô ºÒ¾ÈÇØÇÏÁö ¸¶.
e.g.) When her daughter didn't arrive, she became increasingly agitated. µþÀÌ µµÂøÇÏÁö ¾ÊÀÚ ±×³à´Â Á¡Á¡ ¾ÈÀýºÎÀý ¸øÇÏ°Ô µÇ¾ú´Ù.

* wear on (somebody) Á¡Â÷ ÁöÄ¡°Å³ª È­³ª°Ô ÇÏ´Ù (= to gradually make someone feel tired or annoyed)
e.g.) The constant travel was beginning to wear on the players. ²÷ÀÓ¾øÀÌ À̵¿Çϱ⠶§¹®¿¡ ¼±¼öµéÀÌ ÁöÄ¡±â ½ÃÀÛÇß´Ù. 

* be joined at the hip ÀÏ½É µ¿Ã¼ÀÌ´Ù, ¸Å¿ì Ä£¹ÐÇÏ´Ù (= used to say that two people are never apart and spend a great deal of time together) 
e.g.) You two are usually joined at the hip. ³ÊÈñ µÑÀÌ Ç×»ó °°ÀÌ ºÙ¾î ´Ù´ÏÀݾÆ.