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[Debate/Åä·Ð] (HM-006) ¡®Everything revolves around our children ¡ª not us¡¯
ÃÖ°í°ü¸®ÀÚ  |  16-05-21 17:28


Çѱ¹¾î·Î µÈ ¹®Á¦¸¦ º¸¸é¼­, ¿µ¾î·Î´Â ¾î¶»°Ô Ç¥ÇöÀÌ µÇ´ÂÁö¸¦ »ý°¢ÇØ º¸¼¼¿ä.
¿ø¾î¹ÎÀÇ Ç¥Çö°ú, Çѱ¹ »ç¶÷µéÀÌ ÈçÈ÷ »ý°¢ÇÒ ¼ö Àִ ǥÇöÀÇ Â÷À̸¦ º¸¸é¼­
»ì¾Æ Àִ ǥÇö, ¶Ñ·ÇÇÑ ÀÇ»ç Àü´ÞÀÇ ±â¼úÀ» ¹è¿ì½Ã±æ ¹Ù¶ø´Ï´Ù.

[Problem]

¾Æ³»¿Í Àú´Â °áÈ¥ ÇÑÁö 20³âÀÌ µÇ¾ú½À´Ï´Ù. 2³â Àü ÀúÈñ ¾ÆÀ̵éÀÌ °íµîÇб³¿¡ ÀÔÇÐÇϱâ Àü¿¡ ÀúÈñÀÇ °áÈ¥ »ýÈ°Àº ÈǸ¢Çß½À´Ï´Ù. ºÒÇàÈ÷µµ ¾Æ³»´Â ¾ÆÀ̵éÀÇ °íµîÇб³ ±³À°À» ¹«¾ùº¸´Ù Áß½ÃÇÕ´Ï´Ù. ¾Æ³»´Â ¾ÆÀ̵éÀÌ ´ëÇÐÀ¸·Î ¶°³ª¸é ÀúÈñ °ü°è´Â ´Ù½Ã ÁÁ¾ÆÁú °Å¶ó°í ¸»ÇÏ´Â ÀüÇüÀûÀÎ ¡®Ç︮ÄßÅÍ ¾ö¸¶¡¯ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.
My wife and I have been married for 20 years. Before our two children started high school two years ago, we had a great marriage. Unfortunately, my wife has put our children¡¯s high school education above everything else. She¡¯s a classic ¡°helicopter mom¡± who says that once the kids leave for college, our relationship will become great again.

¸î ´ÞÀÌ Áö³ª°í Àú´Â ¾Æ³»¿¡°Ô ³²ÆíÀÌÀÚ ¡®¸·¿ªÇÑ Ä£±¸¡¯À̱⠺¸´Ù´Â ¾Æ¹öÁöÀÌÀÚ °¡Á¤±³»ç¿¡ ´õ °¡±î¿î Á¦ ÀÚ½ÅÀ» ¹ß°ßÇß½À´Ï´Ù. ÀúÈñ´Â °øÅëÁ¡ÀÌ °ÅÀÇ ¾ø°í Ä£¹Ð°¨µµ °ÅÀÇ ¾øÀ¸¸ç ¸ðµç °ÍÀº ÀúÈñ°¡ ¾Æ´Ï¶ó ¾ÆÀ̵é Áß½ÉÀ¸·Î µ¹¾Æ°©´Ï´Ù.
As the months go by, I find myself being more of a father and a tutor than a husband and ¡°intimate friend¡± to my wife. We have little in common with each other, little intimacy, and everything revolves around our children ¡ª not us.

¾Æ³»¿¡°Ô ÀÌ°Í¿¡ ´ëÇØ À̾߱âÇß°í ¾Æ³»°¡ ÇÏ°í ÀÖ´Â °ÍÀº À߸øµÈ ÇൿÀ̶ó°í ¾Æ³»¿¡°Ô ¸»ÇÏ´Â »ó´ã»ç¿Í ½ÅºÎ´Ôµµ ÀúÈñ´Â ã¾Æ ºÅ½À´Ï´Ù. ÇÏÁö¸¸ »óȲÀº ´õ ¾ÇÈ­µÇ°í ³ª¾ÆÁöÁö ¾Ê¾Æ¿ä.
I have talked to her about this, and we have seen a counselor and a priest who told my wife that what she¡¯s doing is wrong. But things are getting worse, not better.

ÀúÈñ°¡ ¿ÏÀüÈ÷ °¥¶ó¼­°Å³ª ÀÌÈ¥Çϱâ Àü¿¡ ¸Þ½ÃÁö¸¦ Àü´ÞÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¹æ¹ý¿¡ ´ëÇÑ ÀÇ°ß ÀÖÀ¸½ÅÁö¿ä? ȤÀº »óȲÀ» ´Þ¸® º¼ ÇÊ¿ä°¡ ÀÖ´Â »ç¶÷Àº ¹Ù·Î ÀúÀΰ¡¿ä? - Ç︮ÄßÅÍ ¾Æºü´Â ¾Æ´Ñ µ¶ÀÚ
Any suggestions on how to get the message across before we get totally separated or even divorced? Or am I the one who needs to see things differently? - NO HELICOPTER DAD

[Advice]

¾Æ¹ö´Ô²²: µ¶ÀÚ ºÐÀÇ »ç¿¬Àº Áö³­ ¸î ³â°£ Á¦°¡ ¼ö Â÷·Ê ´Ù·ç¾ú´ø ´ëÈ­¸¦ ¾ð±ÞÇϸç Ç︮ÄßÅÍ ºÎ¸ðµéÀÌ ÀÚ³àµé¿¡°Ô À̵æÀ» ÁÖ´ÂÁö ȤÀº ÀÚ³àµéÀÌ »çȸ¼º°ú µ¶¸³½ÉÀ» ±â¸£´Â °É ÀúÇØÇÏ´Â Áö ¿©ºÎ¿Í °ü°è°¡ ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù. ¸¸¾à µ¶ÀÚ ºÐÀÇ ÀÚ³àµéÀÌ Çб³ »ýÈ°¿¡ ¹®Á¦°¡ ÀÖ°í Ãß°¡ÀûÀÎ ºÎ¸ðÀÇ Áöµµ°¡ ÇÊ¿äÇÏ´Ù¸é Àú´Â ±×°ÍÀ» ÁöÁöÇÕ´Ï´Ù. ÇÏÁö¸¸ ¸¸¾à ±×·¸Áö ¾Ê´Ù¸é -¾ÆÀ̵éÀÇ ¼±»ý´Ôµé²²¼­ µ¶ÀÚ ºÐ²² ±×·¸´Ù°í ¸»¾¸ÇÏ½Ç ¼ö ÀÖ¾î¾ß ÇÕ´Ï´Ù- ¾Æ³» ºÐ²²¼­´Â ¾ÆÀ̵éÀÇ ÇÊ¿ä ¶§¹®¿¡ ±×·¸°Ô ÇÏ°í °è½Å °ÍÀÌ ¾Æ´Ï¶ó ÀÚ½ÅÀ» À§ÇØ ÇÏ°í ÀÖ´Â °ÍÀÔ´Ï´Ù.
DEAR DAD: Your letter touches upon a conversation I have had several times over the last few years, and it involves whether helicopter parents are giving their children an advantage, or preventing them from developing social skills and independence. If your kids are having problems in school and need extra parental guidance, then I¡¯m all for it. But if they aren¡¯t ¡ª and their teachers should be able to tell you that ¡ª then your wife isn¡¯t doing this because of their need but her own.

ÀÚ³àµéÀÌ Á¹¾÷ÇÒ ¶§Âë µ¶ÀÚ ºÐÀÇ °áÈ¥ »ýÈ°ÀÌ ¿ÂÀüÇÒÁö È®½ÅÇÒ ¼ö ¾ø´Ù°í ¸»¾¸ÇϽùǷΠÁö±Ý °áÈ¥ »ó´ãÀ» µÎ ºÐ ¸ðµÎ ´õ ¹Þ¾Æº¸½Ã±æ Ã˱¸ÇÕ´Ï´Ù. 20³âÀÇ °áÈ¥ »ýÈ°ÀÌ ±×ÂÊÀ¸·Î ÇâÇÏ°í Àֱ⠶§¹®¿¡ Àú´Â 20³âÀÇ °áÈ¥ »ýÈ°ÀÌ ¼öÆ÷·Î µ¹¾Æ°¡´Â °É º¸´Â °É ¿øÄ¡ ¾Ê½À´Ï´Ù.
Because you say you¡¯re not sure your marriage will be intact by the time they graduate, I¡¯m urging that you both have more marriage counseling now. I hate to see a 20-year marriage go down the drain, because that¡¯s where it¡¯s headed.

[¾îÈÖ & Ç¥Çö]

* classic = ÀüÇüÀûÀÎ, ´ëÇ¥ÀûÀÎ / revolve around ~ = (°ü½É¡¤ÁÖÁ¦°¡) ~À» Áß½ÉÀ¸·Î[À§ÁÖ·Î] »ï´Ù[µ¹¾Æ°¡´Ù] 
* get ~ across (to sb) = (~¿¡°Ô) ~ Àü´Þ[ÀÌÇØ]µÇ´Ù / touch upon[on] ~ = ~À» °£´ÜÈ÷ ¾ð±ÞÇÏ´Ù[´Ù·ç´Ù]
* all for ~ = ~¿¡ ´ëÂù¼ºÀÎ / intact = (Çϳªµµ ¼Õ»óµÇÁö ¾Ê°í) ¿ÂÀüÇÑ, ÀüÇô ´ÙÄ¡Áö ¾ÊÀº  
* go down the drain = Çê¼ö°í[¼öÆ÷]·Î µ¹¾Æ°¡´Ù