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[Debate/Åä·Ð] (HM-005) £§The problem may be lack of honest communication£§
ÃÖ°í°ü¸®ÀÚ  |  16-05-14 21:03


Çѱ¹¾î·Î µÈ ¹®Á¦¸¦ º¸¸é¼­, ¿µ¾î·Î´Â ¾î¶»°Ô Ç¥ÇöÀÌ µÇ´ÂÁö¸¦ »ý°¢ÇØ º¸¼¼¿ä.
¿ø¾î¹ÎÀÇ Ç¥Çö°ú, Çѱ¹ »ç¶÷µéÀÌ ÈçÈ÷ »ý°¢ÇÒ ¼ö Àִ ǥÇöÀÇ Â÷À̸¦ º¸¸é¼­
»ì¾Æ Àִ ǥÇö, ¶Ñ·ÇÇÑ ÀÇ»ç Àü´ÞÀÇ ±â¼úÀ» ¹è¿ì½Ã±æ ¹Ù¶ø´Ï´Ù.

[Problem]

ÀúÈñ ³²ÆíÀº ÃÖ±Ù ÃÑ°ý Ã¥ÀÓÀÚ°¡ µÇ°íÀÚ °¡¾÷À» ¶Ç´Ù½Ã ½ÃÀÛÇÏ¿´½À´Ï´Ù. ³²ÆíÀº ½Å±Ô Á÷¿ø °í¿ëÀ» °ü¸®ÇÏ°í Àִµ¥ Ãֱ٠ȸ»ç¿¡ ´õ ¸¹Àº »ç¶÷À» °í¿ëÇÒ ÇÊ¿ä°¡ ÀÖ´Ù°í Á¦°Ô ¸»Çß¾î¿ä. Àú´Â ÇàÁ¤ ºñ¼­·Î¼­ °Å±â¼­ ÀÏÇÏ°í ½Í´Ù´Â Á¦ °ü½ÉÀ» ¼ö Â÷·Ê ¾ð±ÞÇß½À´Ï´Ù. ÇÏÁö¸¸ ³²ÆíÀº Á¦°¡ ¹°¾îº¼ ¶§¸é ´ëÈ­ ÁÖÁ¦¸¦ ¹Ù²Ù°Å³ª È­¸¦ ³À´Ï´Ù.
My husband recently returned to the family business to become the general manager. He is in control of hiring new employees, and he recently told me they need to hire more people. I have mentioned several times my interest in working there as an administrative assistant. However, my husband either changes the subject or gets angry when I ask about it.

Àú´Â ±×ÀÇ ¾ÆÀ̵éÀ» Å°¿ì´Â »ç¶÷Àε¥ °¡¾÷¿¡´Â ÀûÇÕÇÏÁö ¾Ê´Ù´Â °Í¿¡ »óó¸¦ ¹Þ¾Ò½À´Ï´Ù! ¶ÇÇÑ Á¦ °æÇè ºÎÁ· ¶§¹®ÀÌ ¾Æ´Ï¶õ °Íµµ ¾Ë¾Æ¿ä. ÀÌ ÀÏ·Î Àú´Â ÀÌ °áÈ¥ »ýÈ°ÀÇ ÀÌÁ¡°ú °¡Ä¡¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Àǹ®ÀÌ µì´Ï´Ù. - ¿À·¹°ï ÁÖ¿¡¼­ ¸¶À½¿¡ »óó¸¦ ¹ÞÀº µ¶ÀÚ
It hurts my feelings that I am the person raising his children, but am not good enough to work in the family business! I also know it¡¯s not because of lack of experience. This makes me question the strength and value of our marriage. - HURT FEELINGS IN OREGON

[Advice]

¸¶À½¿¡ »óó¸¦ ¹ÞÀº µ¶ÀÚ ºÐ²²: µ¶ÀÚ ºÐ²²¼­ ½Ç¸ÁÇϼÌÀ» ¼ö ÀÖ´Ù´Â °É ÀÌÇØÇÏÁö¸¸ Á¦°¡ º¸±â¿¡ µ¶ÀÚ ºÐÀÇ ¹®Á¦´Â µ¶ÀÚ ºÐ°ú ³²Æí ºÐ »çÀÌÀÇ Áø½ÇÇÑ ¼ÒÅë ºÎÁ·ÀÎ °Í °°³×¿ä. °áÈ¥ »ýÈ°ÀÇ ÀÌÁ¡À̳ª °¡Ä¡¿Í °ü°è¾øÀÌ µ¶ÀÚ ºÐ²²¼­ °¡Á·ÀÌ ÇÏ´Â »ç¾÷ü¿¡¼­ ÀÏÇÏ½Ã±æ ¿øÄ¡ ¾Ê´Â ÀÌÀ¯°¡ ³²Æí ºÐ²² ÀÖÀ¸½ÇÁöµµ ¸ô¶ó¿ä.   
DEAR HURT FEELINGS: While I can see that you might be disappointed, what I regard as your problem may be the lack of honest communication between you and your husband. He may have reasons for preferring you not work in the family business that have nothing to do with the strength or value of your marriage.

ÃÑ°ý Ã¥ÀÓÀڷμ­ÀÇ À§Ä¡¿¡ »õ·Î ºÎÀÓÇؼ­ ȤÀº ¾î´À °¡Á· »ç¾÷ü¿¡ ±Ù¹«ÇÏ´Â °Íµµ ½ºÆ®·¹½º°¡ µÉ ¼ö Àֱ⿡ ¶Ç´Â ³²Æí ºÐ²²¼­´Â ÀÚ½ÅÀÇ Á÷Àå »ýÈ°°ú °¡Á¤ »ýÈ°À» ºÐ¸®ÇÏ±æ ¿øÇϽðųª ´Ù¸¥ °¡Á·µéÀÌ ¹Ý´ë¸¦ Çϱ⠶§¹®ÀÏ ¼öµµ ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
It might be that he is new in his position as general manager, that working in any family business can be stressful, that he¡¯d prefer separation between his working life and his family life, or that other family members might object.

ÀÌ ÁÖÁ¦¸¦ ÇÑ µ¿¾È ³»·Á ³õÀ¸½Ã°í ´Ù½Ã ÀÌ ÁÖÁ¦¸¦ ²¨³¾ ¶§´Â Àû´ëÀûÀÌÁö ¾ÊÀº ¹æ¹ýÀ¸·Î ½ÃµµÇغ¸¼¼¿ä. ¸¸¾à ±×·¸°Ô ÇÏ½Ã¸é ³²Æí ºÐ²²¼­µµ ÀÌÀ¯°¡ ¹«¾ùÀÎÁö¿¡ ´ëÇØ µ¶ÀÚ ºÐ²² ´õ °³¹æÀûÀÌ°í ´ú ¹æ¾îÀûÀÏÁö ¸ð¸¨´Ï´Ù.
Let the subject rest for a while, and when you do raise it again, try to do it in a non-confrontational manner. If you do, he may be more open and less defensive with you about what his reasons are.

¶ÇÇÑ ¾ÆÀ̵éÀ» ±â¸£´Â °Í ¿Ü¿¡ ¹Û¿¡¼­ ÀÏÇÏ½Ã±æ ¿øÇÏ½Å´Ù¸é ´Ù¸¥ ȸ»ç¿¡ À̷¼­¸¦ Á¦ÃâÇÏ´Â °É °í·ÁÇغ¸¼¼¿ä.
And if you would prefer to work outside the home in addition to raising the children, consider submitting your resumes to other companies.

[¾îÈÖ & Ç¥Çö]

* in control of ~ = ~À» °ü¸®[Á¦¾î]ÇÏ°í Àִ / have nothing to do with ~ = ~¿Í´Â ÀüÇô °ü°è°¡ ¾ø´Ù
* object (to (doing) sth/sb) = ¹Ý´ëÇÏ´Ù / confrontational = ´ë¸³À» ÀÏ»ï´Â, Àû´ëÀûÀÎ / defensive = ¹æ¾îÀûÀÎ (ŵµ¸¦ º¸ÀÌ´Â)