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[Debate/Åä·Ð] (HM-003) £§Once a gift is given, it belongs to recipient£§
ÃÖ°í°ü¸®ÀÚ  |  16-05-01 05:57


Çѱ¹¾î·Î µÈ ¹®Á¦¸¦ º¸¸é¼­, ¿µ¾î·Î´Â ¾î¶»°Ô Ç¥ÇöÀÌ µÇ´ÂÁö¸¦ »ý°¢ÇØ º¸¼¼¿ä.
¿ø¾î¹ÎÀÇ Ç¥Çö°ú, Çѱ¹ »ç¶÷µéÀÌ ÈçÈ÷ »ý°¢ÇÒ ¼ö Àִ ǥÇöÀÇ Â÷À̸¦ º¸¸é¼­
»ì¾Æ Àִ ǥÇö, ¶Ñ·ÇÇÑ ÀÇ»ç Àü´ÞÀÇ ±â¼úÀ» ¹è¿ì½Ã±æ ¹Ù¶ø´Ï´Ù.

[Problem]

Á¦°Ô´Â 70¼¼ÀÇ ¿¬»ó Ä£±¸°¡ ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù. ±×³à´Â µ·ÀÌ ¸¹Áö ¾Ê½À´Ï´Ù. ±×³à´Â Ç÷¾Ð¿¡ ¹®Á¦°¡ À־ Àú´Â ±×³à¸¦ À§ÇØ 160´Þ·¯Â¥¸® °í±Þ Ç÷¾Ð ÃøÁ¤±â¸¦ »çÁÖ¾ú½À´Ï´Ù. »ýÀÏ ¼±¹°ÀÌ ¾Æ´Ï¾ú¾î¿ä. ½É°¢ÇÏ°Ô ±×³à¸¦ °ÆÁ¤Çؼ­¿´ÁÒ.
I have an older friend who is 70. She doesn¡¯t have much money. She was having blood pressure problems, so I ordered a deluxe blood pressure machine for her that cost $160. It wasn¡¯t a birthday gift; I was seriously concerned for her.

À̹ø ÁÖ¿¡ Àú´Â ±×³à°¡ ±×°ÍÀ» Ä£±¸¿¡°Ô ¡®´ë¿©¡¯ÇØÁÖ¾ú´Ù´Â »ç½ÇÀ» ¾Ë°Ô µÇ¾ú½À´Ï´Ù. Àú´Â ±×³à¿¡°Ô ªÀº ÆíÁö¸¦ ½á¼­ ±×°ÍÀº ±×³àÀÇ Ä£±¸¸¦ À§Çؼ­°¡ ¾Æ´Ï¶ó ±×³àÀÇ °Ç°­À» °ÆÁ¤ÇÏ¿© »ç ÁØ °ÍÀ̹ǷΠÁ¤ÁßÇÏ°Ô ±× ÃøÁ¤±â¸¦ µ¹·Á´Þ¶ó°í ±×³à¿¡°Ô ¿äûÇß½À´Ï´Ù. ±×³à´Â ÀÌÁ¦ Àú¿Í ¸»À» ÇÏÁö ¾Ê°í Àú´Â ³Ê¹« È­°¡ ³ª¼­ ½Ã½Ã°¢°¢ Ç÷¾ÐÀÌ ¿À¸£°í ÀÖ¾î¿ä. Á¦°¡ ¼±À» ³ÑÀº °Ç°¡¿ä, ¾Æ´Ï¸é ±×³àÀΰ¡¿ä? - ¾Ö¸®Á¶³ª ÁÖ¿¡¼­ ±Øµµ·Î È­°¡ ³ª ÆÞÆÞ ³¯¶Ù´Â µ¶ÀÚ
I learned this week that she ¡°loaned¡± it to a friend. I wrote her a note and asked her nicely to please get it back because I didn¡¯t buy it for her friend, but because I was worried about her health. She is now not speaking to me, and my blood pressure is going up by the minute because I¡¯m so angry. Was I out of line or is she? - HYPER-FURIOUS IN ARIZONA

[Advice]

±Øµµ·Î È­°¡ ³ª ÆÞÆÞ ³¯¶Ù´Â µ¶ÀÚ ºÐ²²: ÁøÁ¤Çϼ¼¿ä. ½ÉÈ£ÈíÀ» ÇϽðí¿ä. µ¶ÀÚ ºÐ²²¼­ ÇϽŠÀÏÀº ¾Æ¸§´ä°í °ü´ëÇÑ ÇൿÀ̼ÌÁö¸¸ ±× Ç÷¾Ð ÃøÁ¤±â´Â ¼±¹°À̾ú¾î¿ä. ÇÑ ¹ø ¼±¹°À» ÁÖ¸é ±×°¡ ¿øÇÏ´Â ´ë·Î ±×°É·Î ¹» ÇÒÁö´Â ¹ÞÀº »ç¶÷¿¡°Ô ´Þ·Á ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù. ±× ºÐ²² ±×°É µ¹·Á´Þ¶ó°í µ¶ÀÚ ºÐ²²¼­ ¸»¾¸ÇϽŠ°Ç ¼±ÀÇ¿´À»Áö ¸ð¸£Áö¸¸ ±×·¸°Ô ÇϽô °Ç ¿ÇÁö ¾Ê¾Ò¾î¿ä.
DEAR HYPER-FURIOUS: Relax. Breathe. What you did was a beautiful and generous gesture, but the blood pressure machine was a gift. Once a gift is given, it belongs to the recipient to do with as she (or he) wishes. For you to tell her to ask for it back may have been well-intentioned, but it was the wrong thing to do.

[¾îÈÖ & Ç¥Çö]

* blood pressure = Ç÷¾Ð
* be concerned for ~ = ~À» ¿°·ÁÇÏ´Â
* by the minute = ½Ã½Ã°¢°¢À¸·Î
* be[get, go, step] out of line = ±×¸©µÈ ÇൿÀ» ÇÏ´Ù, ¿¹»ó ¹ÛÀÇ ÇൿÀ» ÇÏ´Ù
* recipient = (¾î¶² °ÍÀ») ¹Þ´Â »ç¶÷, ¼ö·É[¼öÃë]ÀÎ
* well-intentioned = ¼±ÀÇÀÇ, ¼±ÀÇ·Î ÇÑ